martinsgrrrl-deactivated2015031:

1 - Yelling DAMN MY LEG!!! at Mrs Hudson literally MINUTES after meeting her. Like, how rude, John, jfc, and then to make it even better, he’s like get me some biscuits, oh nevermind, my new bf wants to go out, fuck the biscuits, peace out. He’s AWFUL.

2 - Reprimanding Sherlock about borrowing his laptop and then asking him for money like two seconds later. John, you’re probably not even paying rent and you don’t have money for bills or groceries, but Sherlock can’t use your fucking computer? Are you serious right now??

3 - Falling asleep at work and missing six patients because he was up all night with Sherlock, then agreeing with Sarah that it’s not professional to fall asleep at your desk, and then immediately asking her out. Like, is that more professional, you absolute piece of trash?? How does your brain actually function??

4 - Flirting with Sherlock like a motherfucker after shooting the cabbie and then  coming onto not-Anthea about four seconds after Sherlock walks away. Really, John? How many people were you planning on banging tonight? Pick up a few more on the way home? Make some phone calls when you get back to the flat? Tell Sherlock to keep his clothes on until you’ve got enough people to occupy every orifice? He literally wants to have sex with everyone.

5 - The entire episode of TSo3. The entire thing. He is a jealous piece of trash through the whole episode, he purposefully gets Sherlock drunker than he wanted to be so that he can loosen him up, he probably was the one who moved the chairs closer together, he’s basically all but begging for a blow job with those restless legs and his knees about 75 miles apart, I don’t mind (no, we know you don’t, you trashy little thing), and then he’s genuinely annoyed at anyone who talks to Sherlock at the wedding…like basically every moment of that entire episode. 

He is such a piece of trash. I adore him.